Kempressor : compress text with bad kerning.

Another "invaluable" service from Fancyham.com

Over that pesky 280 character limit? Kempress your text to use fewer characters while keeping it mostly readable!

"I put Great Expectations in and saved 1200 characters!" —Internet person

"Bandwidth savings through bad keming." See, I just saved you one byte.

Paste your text here and click the button below. Normal: If you're really savvy, you can click to kern automatically. Aggressive option: I loved that FLICK about the ghost and the pottery kiln. Non-Latin option: Not that I'm passive, but I read a book about butter and pufferfish. Bandwidth savings through bad kerning!

     
Use aggressive kempression (ln = h, lo = b, LI = U, etc.)
Use non-Latin characters (oo = ∞, etc.)

Glossary

Kerning : the space between adjacent characters in a word.
Keming : when letters are kerned so close together, they look like a single letter.
Kernature : A keming ligature. A single character consisting of two or more letters.
Kempression : uses 'keming' to compress text by replacing single characters with a single 'kernature'. I call this 'lousy compression'. It's like JPEG compression for text!

Perhaps you'd like a Helvetica Shirt or some Apps?